Here it is. The link you’ve all been waiting for. My first appearance on the radio.

Bright Orange Seats on the DA Show
(Starts at the 46 minute mark.)

Fortunately, it wasn’t completely terrible. I may’ve tripped over some words and said some confusing things, but overall, the feedback has been mostly positive. Perhaps in the future, if I ever make a radio appearance again, I’ll get to put the constructive criticism I’ve received to good use.

I would like to touch on a few things about my appearance on WQAM Tuesday night, though.

1. A big thank you to the DA Show for having me on. Damon was a great host who gave me a lot to work with, so I’d like to show my appreciation for that.

2. I haven’t been a closet Orioles fan my whole life. I’ve been a closet Marlins fan. I was pretty damn out as an Orioles fan. This is just one of the many slip-ups that I’ll attempt to clarify in this post. Grab a drink. This could take a while.

3. “I’m not buying into any wildcat hype.” Before anyone gets on my case about this, try to remember that it only worked well against the Patriots, and only because it was the first time anyone had ever seen it. Does that mean it’s useless? Not at all. It’s a great formation to run on 3rd and short or goalline situations. It’ll probably help the Fins pick up a few more first downs, a touchdown here and there and the occasional two-point conversion.

As for Pat White, I have a feeling that he’s a guy that only South Florida is talking about. (Sort of the way we used to talk about Sage Rosenfels like he could be the next great Dolphins quarterback, when in reality, he was simply a competent backup.) The idea of him posing any legitimate threat to the starting quarterback job is probably a bit of a stretch. And considering NFL.com couldn’t even be bothered to give the man a face, I’d say I’m pretty comfortable with my assessment.

4. When asked about the Dolphins cheerleaders, I began to talk about my roommate and something about converting to Judiasm. Basically, I was going to describe my loose connection to a Dolphins’ cheerleader, only after I started telling the story, I realized it would only be interesting to one person–me. So, I cut it short. Here’s the whole story:

The mother of my old roommate worked as a tutor for people who were trying to convert. A certain Dolphins cheerleader was one of her students. Thus, my loose connection. I realize that on the radio, I made it sound like my old roommate was dating her. Trust me. He’s really not that lucky. And wow, that story was a lot more lame than even I realized. Thank god I stopped myself.

5. Not something I screwed up on, but something I did wanna talk about. That Lindsay Lohan picture. Holy shit, what happened to her? Wasn’t she the hottest woman in the world just a few years ago? Pretty sure that if you had to rank the biggest train wrecks in starlet history, it would look something like this.

3a/b. The Olsen Twins
2. Lindsay Lohan
1. Tara Reid

Anyway, thanks again to the DA Show. Thanks to all that listened. A special thanks to those who made fun of me on Facebook. And to all the new readers, I hope you enjoy what I have to offer.

Which isn’t much.