Trolling the internet at work, while avoiding the actual job that provides us a paycheck, we occasionally find ourselves a pot of gold. This would be one of those shiny pots.
From the Department of Things You Probably Shouldn’t Do to Underage Girls comes the story of Charles Johnson Sr. — father of former Marlins’ catcher, Charles Johnson — who was arrested Tuesday on charges of lewd and lascivious molestation.
The girl said the incident occurred on May 5, when she skipped her regular first-period class to be in Johnson’s classroom, according to the reports.
“Don’t tell your momma,” Johnson said after he touched her, according to the reports. “I’m only playin’.”
Two days later, the girl claims, Johnson grabbed her breasts from behind and lifted her off the ground to demonstrate how strong he is. Another 15-year-old female student witnessed that incident, according to the reports.
Oh, c’mon. Who amongst us hasn’t lifted a girl up by the boobs to prove our strength? No word yet on whether he clubbed her over the head and dragged her back to the cave.
All kidding aside, much like the folks who posted this at You Been Blinded, we hope these allegations turn out to be completely bogus, as well. Though, “Don’t tell your momma” will forever be enshrined in the Bright Orange Seats Hall of Hilarious Quotes.
